UPDATE - 28.10.16
Now that the fog of my tantrum has subsided, my reasoning, such as it is, lol, has returned. In closing my Blog, I am effectively censoring myself! Doh! I want my work to be read, it would be daft to say I don't.
Anyway, this has indeed been a bit of a watershed, and there's nothing wrong with them! I'm delighted to say, I have (since 4.00am), been working on a book I have been planning in my head for over 30+ years. I have returned to my favourite genre, comedy, well comedy mixed with the kind of advice you can take, leave, or laugh at.
But as my critics have so eloquently pointed out, it's about time I got down to a bit of hard work! I'm still around, and I will still comment if and when I feel like it, but I've given myself a Christmas deadline!
Ps. To those who think I've hit the bottle (again, groan). I've turned into one of those little old ladies who giggle, sing and pass out after one small sherry, all under an hour, being fully compos mentis by teatime.
UPDATE - 27.10.16
I may have the hind of a rhino, but the sheer viciousness of the attacks on me have got through. I'm shutting my blog shortly, while I reconsider it's future. Typing this with burned fingers and a hugely dented ego, I feel I am providing (free) entertainment to an audience who clearly despise me personally.
It has actually triggered a rather sad childhood memory. When my brother and I, with our thick Irish accents started primary school in posh Virginia Water, our voices gave all the other kids, and indeed the teachers, much opportunity to mock us. I remember at the age of 5 being taken up onto the assembly stage with my 6 year old brother so the headmaster could get us to speak into the microphone and make everyone laugh. We didn't care - we were Irish kids, our granny had taught us put on a show and take a bow, from the moment we could toddle. We even fought as we got off stage, about who got the most laughs.
It took me a lifetime to understand that they weren't laughing with us, they were laughing at us. I still struggle to understand it now, but understand it, I must. At the moment, I have to face the reality that I am giving my all to a project that keeps me in the poverty to which I have become way too accustomed. For an audience, who on the whole, hate me. This may be the wake up call I need, perhaps it is time to write that book or put my energies into something more lucrative My dream, that one day, writing for a living, or at least trying to, will be acknowledged as a real job, rather than an excuse to sit on one's arse all day! Don't get me started on the life on a writer (or maybe I should, there will be many who empathise!). I think if I had a chance to start out again, I would opt for the Stepford route! And yes, I'm laughing.
And to those who think, she's up herself because she's got a blog, the penalty I have paid by not being aloof like other writers, was a risk I was happy to take. It may be I got it wrong, I often do, it's no big deal. Among my dear old dad's (frequent) tut tuts and rants were the words 'you never learn do ya?'. I expect he is sat on a cloud somewhere with my barmy mum, drinking and saying 'och, Jesus!'. (Bugsy, can ya check my grammar, ta).
And yes, pushing a broom or stacking shelves is beneath me! I haven't spent a lifetime studying to break rocks for the entertainment of those who work 9 to 5pm. It is a real job for me. I agree with my critics, I must be crap, but that only makes me try harder. I will never, ever, give up. My dream is to make a living writing, if that is the root of all evil, shoot me now.
For those fearing for my mental health (I have rediscovered alcohol), fear not, I am in a giggly mood, and have the company of SMS (Smart Arsed Son) and the mentality of those who believe I should get a 'real' job. We are presently squabbling about which one of us is the Mentalist, lol.
Ps. Bugsy, please can you edit, slightly tipsy and not giving a f*ck.
UPDATE - 26.10.16
As expected, my donation button has caused outrage! So many sharp intakes of breath, I though we were having a typhoon. I have therefore decided to respond to the main criticisms by category to save us all time.
To those who say, I am cashing in on a missing child, I am a writer, who by some cruel twist of fate has become shackled to this unfortunate case, for what seems to be an eternity. I will not lie, it has always been my intention to write about the Madeleine mystery (I still dream of that bestseller) but thus far, it is a story without an ending, and I'm not just going to make one up! At the moment my Madeleine text is a living narrative, still filled with twists, turns and machinations. My blog is a work in progress, I value my readers' input as much as my own, it is a journal if you like, which I hope is capturing the zeitgeist.
As for the morality of writing about a tragic child, my critics should bear in mind, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of journalists writing about tragic children every day of the week. Should child stories be withdrawn from their paypackets? The Madeleine case is still of interest to thousands, their doing, not mine, and my blog has become a niche corner of the internet where this human interest story can be discussed civilly, rationally as reasonable adults.
I have always given my honest and educated opinion on this case, I am one of the (very) few writers to have stood up to the McCann takeover of the media, and for that I am blacklisted. I have never given in to their demands and I never will, even if it means carving the truth of the lie on a prison wall. I am as outraged at the injustice in this case as I ever was. Rightly, or wrongly, I now have a large audience, to whom, I hope, I am providing a service that they cannot get from the mainstream media, an analysis of the true story behind this cover up.
Many writers are now self publishing online and asking for donations, we have a skill we are happy to share for free, but we also have to eat. Much as I hate to be a diva (a lie, I love it!), all we have declare is our talent! As newpapers and magazines are losing thousands of sales, they too are adding donation buttons. Writing is a profession like any other, if my articles were appearing in the mainstream media, I would be paid.
Those who say there is far more work involved in filing, indexing and collecting data than there is in creative writing could Not insult me more! I live, breathe and sleep my work, it fills every moment of my life and I am often at my (worn out) keyboard for up to 14 hours a day. I'm a perfectionist, and I'm not bragging, because in my mind, I am never good enough, I have the same philosophy as Animal Farm's Boxer, I must work harder.
My blogs may appear to be simplistic, easy reading that just comes off the top of my head, but that is a skill that has taken decades to perfect. I take the entire McCann canon, all the heavy reading, facts, data and opinion, and I condense it down into bite size easy reading for those who follow this case, those who are new to it and those who would like an explanation as to what is going on. Some may not consider that to be worth the price of a cup of coffee, but I'm hoping that there are many decent people out there who will think it is!
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After much tossing, turning and questioning of conscience, I have decided to add a donate button to my blog. Unfortunately, writing about the case of missing Madeleine McCann can be seriously detrimental to a writer's career!
For me, writing about the Madeleine case is not an option. I know too much about this case to keep silent in the face of such obvious and manipulative lies.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing said Edmund Burke. And a lot of good men and good women have challenged the establishment lies in the case of missing Madeleine from the start. The assumption of politicians, their spin doctors and newspaper editors that the public are headline skimming morons they can bend and twist at will offends me. This generation have grown up in an age of technology and information. we are no longer reliant on censored news. We can and do, seek out alternate opinions that have never been available in our mainstream press (and never will be).
There are of course, hundreds if not thousands, of decent people out there, who are appalled that a child lost her life, and appalled that our government, our media, and even our police, became complicit in covering up the truth. People who are appalled that the innocent, Goncalo Amaral, Brenda Leyland and every poor sod who's face is splashed across the tabloids as Madeleine's abductor are having their lives destroyed to protect this mother of all crimes.
I don't claim to know what happened to Madeleine, like many of my readers, this case for me has been a journey of discovery. A bit like The Matrix, do you take the blue pill, or the red pill? Take the blue pill and accept Madeleine was abducted, and the story ends. Take the red pill, and you are hurled into a nightmare reality - there is no turning back. I imagine explaining to my trusting old Dad, that the Labour government and the newspapers lied to us and I can see the sickening disappointment on his face.
Unfortunately, writing about this case has not been without personal loss. Having featured in the McCann Supporters' Blacklist (Death Dossier) for several years and having several troll sites devoted to me, my work will never been accepted by the mainstream. Ce la vie.
I have therefore decided to put up a 'donate' button (right hand column), things break down and parts wear out, and I am determined to last this case out until the end! If you enjoy my blogs and would like to contribute a small amount to its' upkeep, the price of a magazine or a large G&T, it would be much appreciated!
will you have a transparent accounts policy for collected donations?
Replysorry, i could not resist :-)
Don't flatter yourself Rosalind. Who wants to hand over their hard earned case to someone with a blog used almost exclusively to slate people like Tony Bennett and the CMOMM forum. If not that it's about yourself over and over again.
ReplyYou conradict yourself from one blog to the next so your opinions, or musings as you like to boast, amount to nothing.
Alex
There aren't any criticisms of your decision on this page, Cristobell, so who are you referring to?
ReplyI haven't published the abuse Keith because it makes me feel like shit, which of course is the intention. There is so much free floating hate surrounding this case, those with their Judges caps on get a little confused as to where to aim it. Asking readers for a small donation to my site is apparently far more heinous than making a child disappear.
I'm sorry to hear that, Cristobell. I have read earlier insults; those from people who claim to be McCann doubters are often as bad as those from blinkered McCann supporters.
This case brings out the worst in many people.
Does that come under freedom of speach or your right to be offended Rosalind?
You like dishing the dirt but you don't like it when anyone does it to your do you?
You claim to like honesty so why do you refuse to publish comments that are an honest opinion?
It is not abuse Rosalind it is opinion.
Alex
Why is this even an issue? It’s only a choice.
ReplySo are reasonable comments, which might be considered as alternative contributions.
Good luck!
Hi Rosalinda,
ReplyI believe your opinion on the Madeleine case and your blog is important, as too many other seekers of truth are not focusing on facts and the MSM aren’t really giving an accurate account of what the Madeleine case is all about.
Your take on the case has inspired me to go on reading about it. So please never give up on Madeleine, as J K Rowling did right away. By virtue of her iconic status, she should now admit that she was wrong, when she without hesitating, sided with the McCanns. Instead of keeping quiet, as she does now, she could publicly at least declare, that she, like many others, don’t know what happened to Madeleine and that she therefore would welcome a further investigation in which the McCanns will not be granted immunity status. Why would that be so difficult to say.
She like many other celebrities have for a long time perverted the course of justice, without really having the intention of doing so. In Rowling’s situation, keeping quiet is just the best marketing strategy for her, considering her popularity and the sales figures of her books. In this respect, she is no better than the McCanns themselves, who are busy defending their honour, instead of looking for Madeleine, which they never do, giving them a chance to stand a little longer in the lime light.
"The pen is mightier than the sword but I always keep a sword handy in case my enemy can't read." - borrowed from Mary Charlene.
ReplyAnd I love After The Lie from Elsewhere, LOL.
Best wishes,
from Holland
Whilst I accept the decision to add a donate button is your right as it is a right of those who wish to donate but please don't advertise yourself as the defender of truth and freedom.
ReplyYou are not bringing the truth to 'the public', you are writing your version the same as any other commentator. Your vile attacks on those who posit other theories is a clear demonstration.
I can't find these 'several sites' dedicated to attacking you and it stretches the imagination to believe your 'writing career' has been adversely affected.
I don't believe for one moment that Madeleine was abducted but to believe those controlling the narrative of the case are 'blacklistng' amateur bloggers is a step too far.
Don'tlet "Bugsy", Zora, "Paul" & their little band of bullies get you down. They are thugs who hunt in a pack: take one of them on & another half dozen gobdaws will join in.
ReplyMany thanks 18:17, I take comfort from that, and it's not like I haven't withstood the torrent before. Just need a breather, or some serious thinking about a change in direction.
Big brave comment from anonymous (Hutton). I only got involved AFTER you brought my name into the discussion. You are happy to attack others Linda, so don't be amazed when you get the same treatment back.
ReplyBravo on your pseudo machismo online character bugsy, but I'm afraid you don't impress me much I'm not here to squabble with juvenile delinquents who have discovered the meaning of one tiny miniscule puzzle in this universe and think this entitles them to dictate the thinking of others. Go away, and open your severely retarded POV of this world, and come back when you have something of real interest to say.
No I am not "Hutton", Bugsy, you big brave man who spends his time bullying women, cackling with bitches like McCartney & "Rico", & goading the thick sheep who follow you to join in. The person who accused you of "dogpiling" had you bang to rights.
ReplyRos can you clarify something - when did you lose your home because of your comments about the Mccanns?
ReplyI am interested because I have read your blog for a long time and don't remember you ever posting about this life changing event.
No I can't 20:00, I'm not ready to.
Oh dear I bet bennett's arse is squeaking today about the Barrymore issue.
ReplyWelcome back, Cristobell.
ReplyIt's up to you Ros whether you bring in the 'donate' facility or not. It's YOUR site and readers can choose what they want to do . I think your writing is good . Your style of writing and your picture very much remind me of another author, Christine Hart. Are you the same person or related even? Keep up the good work. Forget the detractors .
Reply